When our boys were very small, they both started suffering with severe stomach issues. Jesse’s issues started first then a few months later, Chase’s started. The symptoms were daily and nothing nor no one knew how to help us. One boy had severe constipation, the other had severe diarrhea. They both had a full body rash that felt like sandpaper. They were suffering with bad headaches and their faces would turn really red around their cheeks. The one with diarrhea also had to deal with his tushy being too sore to clean. The one with constipation had to deal with drinking medicines that would help him go to the bathroom. It was a nightmare. We went to so many doctors’ appointments, had so many tests done and no one could tell us what was happening or offer a solution. And the one piece of advice our pediatrician gave us was counterproductive. He suggested they drink pear juice. Not good!

We had to write down everything they ate and drank. We had to document any soaps, shampoos, lotions, etc. they used. It totally consumed us. We could not escape it. And it broke my heart to see them so sick.

I was determined to find the answer. We shared our symptoms with others in hopes that someone would point us in the right direction. Late at night I would scour the internet and do my own research. I felt like the professionals were failing us, but I did not want to fail my boys. Helping them to feel better was my main focus and I was not going to stop searching to find out what was plaguing them.

Into the chapter of Luke 5, Jesus sees a tax collector named Levi. We know him as Matthew. Jesus sees him, walks to him and simply tells Levi “Follow me and be my disciple” in Luke 5:27. So Levi did. A little while later Levi has a banquet in his home. Scripture says, starting in Luke 5:29 - Later, Levi held a banquet in his home with Jesus as the guest of honor. Many of Levi’s fellow tax collectors and other guests also ate with them. But the Pharisees and their teachers of religious law complained bitterly to Jesus’ disciples, “Why do you eat and drink with such scum?” In verse 31 - Jesus answered them, “Healthy people don’t need a doctor – sick people do. I have come to call not those who think they are righteous, but those who know they are sinners and need to repent.”

As Christians, we’ve all met them and we’ve all been them. The self-righteous. The person who doesn’t see anything wrong with how they are living. All of their actions, thoughts, and plans are justified in their minds. “I can spend my time, my money, my talents the way I want to spend them.” Goodness knows I have been in this spot – and unfortunately I stayed there for a long time. I had convinced myself, and Satan backed it up for me (he was very willing to have my back on this one), that since God slighted me at age 20 by allowing my fiancé to become paralyzed and never walk again, then I had every right to live my life how I wanted. And I did; for 20 years. Two decades.

However, hopefully you’ve witnessed the flip side and have lived this yourself. The admitted sinner. The person who finally comes to a crossroads in life, humbles themselves, and says “I don’t want to travel the paths I have been traveling any longer. I need a change in my life. I need a Savior, for I’m a sinner.” Then you humble yourself before God and repent of your sins and ask for His forgiveness.

Wow! What a beautiful thing – the day the self-righteous are so sick of themselves and their ways and their actions, that they say “Lord Jesus, come into my life, forgive me of my sins, and heal me.” Scripture tells us the angels rejoice every time this happens – it is that glorious!

A self-righteous person does not realize his or her need for salvation, but an admitted sinner does.

At age 40, I finally came to a place in my life where I was disgusted with myself. I had invited Jesus into my heart at age 6, but I did not live for Him. I lived for the world and myself, but I didn’t see it fully until I came to a crossroads where all roads pointed to worldly things, except one. All the other roads were paths that I had taken time and time again, but was still left wanting; still not fulfilled; still struggling; still proud; and still empty. I didn’t want to take those roads any longer. I knew I was a sinner and needed to repent. I knew I was sick and needed the Great Physician. At 40 years old, I rededicated my life to the Lord. He was waiting on me. He was so incredibly kind and gentle with me. Jesus told me I never had to go back there to my misery; He was doing a new thing. And boy did He! Do you know in our 40’s my husband and I adopted two babies? Wow! Jesus started moving in our lives, once we surrendered to Him, and has far exceeded our expectations of how awesome it is to give our everything to Him.

But back to my sons when they were little and so incredibly sick with stomach issues. Jesus didn’t leave us. Yes, it was during my 20-year period of justifying how I would live my life the way I wanted. But Jesus guided my internet search to another mom – a stranger in another state – whose child was experiencing the exact same symptoms as my boys. She was the first time I had ever heard the term “fructose malabsorption.” And guess what? Because I could finally put a name to my sons’ symptoms, that led us straight to a doctor in Charlotte, NC who specializes in fructose malabsorption and helped my children get well. But even he was limited. He could not cure it. They will always have it. I have it and my mom has it. But this doctor gave us the exact tools and shared with us the exact diet we needed to follow to keep all the horrible side effects of fructose malabsorption away. Our bodies do not absorb fructose or sugar – so we stay away from fruit, things with high fructose corn syrup, and sugar. That was the answer. Not pear juice!

Why does Jesus eat with tax collectors and sinners? Why does Jesus wait patiently on us to get to a place in our lives where we no longer want to do what we’ve always done? Because we are sinners and Jesus said, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.”

Friends, that’s us. He’s giving us the exact tools and has shared with us the exact “diet” we need to follow to keep all the horrible side effects of our sins away. Open God’s word, the bible, and start discovering how to be made well and stay healthy in our walk with Christ.

Roxee, our youngest, is 5 years old. There are two things Roxee absolutely loves! Candy and treasures! Almost daily she comes home from school with some type of treasure she found that day. She has brought home so many treasures from kindergarten this year, that I have a box of all the things. Roxee doesn’t know I have been storing these treasures away, and at the end of the school year, I will give her the box.

I also mentioned she loves candy. Everyday she asks for candy or tries to bargain with me to earn a piece of candy. She asks for candy when she wakes and it’s also the first thing she asks for when I pick her up from school. She is candy crazy!

Recently, I took a month or so away from painting after trashing several pieces I just was not happy with. The pieces did not bring me joy; but they did bring plenty of frustration. So, I took a break from painting at all. When I did return to painting the first piece I did was a suggestion from Roxee. She wanted me to paint a Gingerbread House. Roxee guided me on all the elements she wanted: a house, snow, and lots of candy!

As I was creating it, I thought a lot about our home. It’s loud and messy and has sticky spots and fingerprints. And of course, hidden candy! My mind reflected often on these verses in Proverbs:
Proverbs 24:3-4
By wisdom a house is built, and through understanding it is established;
Through knowledge its rooms are filled with rare and beautiful treasures.
 
The Gingerbread House painting was at a time when I was just getting back into painting after several failed attempts and a month off. I had the knowledge of how to paint a picture and I had the supplies… but I was definitely out of practice. So, this painting looks a little sloppy and crooked and strange in places. But I did it. I made the time, I listened to Roxee’s suggestions, added the elements she requested, and she loves this painting. She treasures it.

My husband and I decided long ago that we would always claim Joshua 24:15 in our home. It says “But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.” Putting God first, telling our children about God, storing our treasures in heaven… this is us establishing what is important to us in our home while simultaneously filling it with rare and beautiful things and people. It can get messy at times, but when it does, it means we are out of practice and we are letting other outside influences creep it. That’s when we have to be intentional again and lean on God and His wisdom to focus on what is truly important. And to us, the most important thing is… keeping God first.

The next time you see a Gingerbread House, ask yourself if God is head of your household.
God bless your journey!

My oldest daughter, Rylee, and I attended a painting class last year. Rylee was 6 years old at the time.

It had been years since I had painted. My dad had spent lots of hours instructing me in painting before I had kids. He taught me to take my time, don’t rush, notice where your source of light is coming from, and pay close attention to light and shadows. My dad has always felt that anything worth doing is worth doing right. And wouldn’t you know… I have that same mindset.

As my dad instructed me in painting, years ago, he would remind me “we are just layering.” If an area of my painting bothered me, he’d say “go back and re-do it.” But one thing he insisted on, as I said before, was “Don’t rush, take your time, and enjoy the process. Painting should be fun and relaxing.”

So as my oldest daughter and I are at this class painting together, my dad’s words came flooding back. He had spent his time and patience instructing me, and thankfully, I was in a season of my life where I was open to receiving his instructions. Because I listened to him, my skills grew and matured. I’m not a master painter… I’m mediocre at best… but I absorbed the information, made myself available, and heeded his instructions.

I do regret not heeding all the guidance and advice my parents have given me over the years. I could have saved myself a lot of heartache. But I didn’t always listen to my parents… which got me to thinking about Proverbs 1:8-9:
   8 My child, listen when your father corrects you.
                Don’t neglect your mother’s instruction.
   9 What you learn from them will crown you with grace
    and be a chain of honor around your neck.

There certainly is wisdom to be had, shared, and experienced if we are open to it and in a place to receive it! In this biblical instance, a father was preparing his son for life in the world. Our Father, God, uses His word to do the same for us. God’s Holy Word, the Bible, is our instruction guide.

As we are reminded in Proverbs 3:13:
                Joyful is the person who finds wisdom,
                                the one who gains understanding.

This is the tool you need. To keep with you. This tool will help you find the answers you are seeking. Open it today and start filling your mind, body, and soul with the goodness and wisdom of our Heavenly Father.

Rylee and I finished our works of art and we felt so proud to have completed them. I think we will definitely take another art class soon and invite the 5-year-old sister to join us! Hopefully they will listen and heed their mother’s instructions!

God bless your journey!

My parents lived at the Outer Banks of North Carolina for a long time. My husband, children and I would go several times a year to visit them. It is such a beautiful area… and if you know the right places to go, you can catch the most splendid sunrises and sunsets imaginable! Talk about captivating… just watching God paint the sky over the ocean or the sound was such a blessing to behold! It never got old. Never.

As a hobby, I paint. I have tried numerous times to re-create the beauty that I’ve seen God paint. I fall short, but it’s still fun trying. And I learn so much every time I paint a sunrise or sunset.

At the Outer Banks if you want to catch a sunset, you have to go over to the sound side. And of course, to glimpse a magical sunrise, you have to be on the ocean side. But no matter which side you’re on, the infinity beauty of the sky mixing with the water abounds all around you and is absolutely stunning.

While painting a picture of a sunset recently, I was thinking about the infinite beauty in God’s creation, and it made me think about the infinite value of knowing Christ. In Philippians chapter 3 Paul is writing to the church in Philippi telling them how awesome it is to know Christ and how worthless everything else is compared to Jesus.
Paul says in verse 8 “Yes, everything else is worthless when compared with the infinite value of knowing Christ Jesus.” Right before Paul said that, he reminded the Philippians that it wasn’t by works or human effort or obeying the law that saved them. It was by faith in Jesus!

Paul said if it was by effort then he would have and could have confidence in his own effort. Read what he wrote in Philippians 3:5-9:
5 I was circumcised when I was eight days old. I am a pure-blooded citizen of Israel and a member of the tribe of Benjamin—a real Hebrew if there ever was one! I was a member of the Pharisees, who demand the strictest obedience to the Jewish law. 6 I was so zealous that I harshly persecuted the church. And as for righteousness, I obeyed the law without fault.
7 I once thought these things were valuable, but now I consider them worthless because of what Christ has done. 8 Yes, everything else is worthless when compared with the infinite value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have discarded everything else, counting it all as garbage, so that I could gain Christ 9 and become one with him. I no longer count on my own righteousness through obeying the law; rather, I become righteous through faith in Christ. For God’s way of making us right with himself depends on faith.

After studying these passages, I don’t ever want to just look at infinite beauty without first acknowledging the One who has infinite value – Jesus Christ my Lord! Don't you agree?

Thank you for reading! God bless your journey!

This is going to sound incredible. And yes, I do mean incredible in its literal meaning – impossible to believe. However, it’s not a unique story. When I’ve shared this flaw of mine with others, they too feel like they are in the same boat. What am I referring to? Falling through the cracks, of course.
If my name is supposed to be on a list as the next person to call, I will somehow get overlooked.  If I’m supposed to receive something someone else has promised me, they will forget me.  If I’m the next in line, the line will close after the person in front of me because they didn’t see me there.  Overlooked, forgotten, unnoticed. ALL. THE. TIME. ALL. OF. MY. LIFE.
Sadly, I have passed this malady down to my children. I’ve witnessed them be forgotten and overlooked time and time again.  It hurts my heart.  It makes me question God.  It makes me doubt my worth, but it does the opposite for my children’s worth - - when it comes to them, I think things like “Why wouldn’t you want him at your party?  He is the life of the party.  Why wouldn’t you want her to sit next to you? She is loyal and kind.  How could you forget him?  He just spent an hour with you the other day.  He’s unforgettable.” I undermine my worth and correctly elevate my offspring’s worth in these conversations in my head.  Conversations with myself that quickly turn into a pity party of ‘why oh why are we being overlooked yet again?  How did we fall through the cracks… yet again?’  Then I convince myself ‘it has happened again, because I’m not worth remembering.’
Have you ever told yourself that same lie?  I hope you haven’t.  That one lie has led me down the deepest, darkest rabbit hole of more believable lies.  And that place is a tough place to climb out of.  One that has taken me decades to tunnel through… because just when I think I see daylight; the deceiver sends me on a detour full of shame and worthlessness.  Then I convince myself “no wonder I fall through the cracks; I’m not worth remembering.”
Thankfully, this is not the end of my story.  I thought it was.  Falling through the cracks has always been part of my story, so I just finally surrendered that it was my only story.  The only story I’d ever know.  The only story I’d ever live. The story not worth sharing because it was about me and no one wanted to hear about me.
Then one day it hit me.  “Ginger, when your children fall through the cracks and they are overlooked, you build them up so high, and encourage them so much, that they quickly forget the hurt of being left out and move on towards living the next moment of their lives. Why can’t you do the same for yourself?  You get stuck in feeling sorry for yourself that you only see the few instances of being neglected. Then you completely ignore all the bountiful blessings that surround you daily.”
BAM. WHACK. WOW. What an eye opener!
Now, when my paperwork gets lost, or my phone call is not returned, or my reservation is botched… I don’t automatically blame it on my shortcomings as a human and think “Of course! This is happening to ME again.” Instead, I pause, breathe and remember God is in control and is using this exact circumstance for my good…. Because He loves me and thinks I’m worth it. Not because He wants to punish me and sees me as worthless.  The latter is only a bunch of lies I let the deceiver feed me for too many years.  Don’t be fed the same lies.  God is using these instances for your good… because you are worth it.

I find it ironic how drastically my vision, my physical eyesight, has changed in the year 2020.  It’s getting harder and harder for things to come into focus.  I’m having to extend my arm further and further to be able to read words on a page.  I’ve had to take things to my older children and ask them to read it for me when my eyes could not.  It’s the year of perfect vision, 2020, and mine is anything but.  I do foresee progressive lenses in my future.
But how do we progress forward in a year where so much has changed for us all?  As I write this, today is Friday, November 13, 2020.  Historically, all Friday the thirteenths are seen by some as cursed.  Many people already feel the entirety of 2020 is cursed.  So it’s kind of like we are holding our breath today praying nothing bad happens….. in our homes, in our communities, in our country or in our world.  And if something terrible does happen today, we will say “I’m so done with 2020!”
We know the things that scare us about the year 2020.  We have realized them, lived them and been tossed upside down by them.  They have shattered us, displaced us and plagued us.  We can’t seem to escape the reality of some of our worst fears coming true.  But what if…. Just what if…. This year which we thought would bring clarity and perfect vision is actually the year God is using to restore our vision?
But how?  We feel we were blindsided…. Caught unprepared…. Attacked from an unexpected position.  And the hits keep coming.  The waters have truly been muddied this year.  I’m talking about eyesight and mud.  Where else have we heard about eyesight and mud?  I’ve read about both recently in the bible.  Do you remember?
In the book of John, chapter 9, Jesus heals a blind man using mud.  2020 conjures up for us a vision of normal eyesight.  All the turmoil of this year with a pandemic, racial tension, a world shutting down, deaths of people we know, loss of jobs, chaotic elections…. This all conjures up a vision of a muddy mess.  But what if this muddy mess is the concoction God is using to heal and open our eyes to the truth?
One day Jesus and His disciples were walking along and saw a blind man who was blind from birth.  His disciples, wanting to understand, asked “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?”  Do you remember what Jesus said?  “Neither this man nor his parents sinned.  This happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life.”
What about us?  Think back before March of this year when the world shut down.  What all was going on in your life?  For us we went straight from soccer season, to basketball season to baseball season.  Our 4 kids were in 2 different schools.  My husband worked an hour away and he always felt like he was rushing from one thing to another between his work schedule and our kid’s extracurricular activities.  We were flying blind most days.  In a frantic rush to get from one thing to the next.  We rushed out the door in the mornings and rushed through the quickest or closest drive-thru in the evenings.  We weren’t doing anything for the kingdom of God.  We were just trying to survive each day only to find ourselves completely exhausted by the end of each day.
Then BAM!  We were on this Damascus road rushing to the next thing, when we were blindsided by a pandemic.  Who does that remind you of?  Yes, Saul.  God blinded him so that Saul could truly see God’s glory.  Saul became Paul and we have book after book in the New Testament that shows us the work of God displayed through Paul’s life. 
Let’s go back to the blind man from birth.  Jesus said “This happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life.”  I’m going to take a few liberties here, please keep reading.  What if 2020 is our mud on our eyes.  After Jesus rubbed the mud on the man’s eyes, He told him to go wash in the Pool of Siloam (this word means Sent or one who has been Sent).  God is sending us…. Out into the world as the Great Commission states. 
We are guilty of our complete unawareness of our spiritual blindness and need.  We are guilty of others complete unawareness of their spiritual blindness and need.  Let’s not overlook God’s gift to us of a special year in 2020 to prepare our eyes to be opened and no longer blinded.  The mud has covered our eyes these past 8 months.  Now, He’s given us clarity of what it looks like to live in a world without the hope of a Savior.  So many around us are hopeless.  God is sending us.  Let’s share the hope we have found in Jesus with others.  He has used 2020 to put mud on our eyes, now He’s asking us to go wash so we can see and then be sent.  See a world that needs Jesus and He’s sending us to lead them to Him.
I pray your Thanksgiving and Christmas brings you plenty of opportunities to share with others what all Jesus has done in your life. 
Thank you, friends!  Jesus loves you.

 Proverbs 12:25  Anxiety in a man’s heart weighs it down, but a good word cheers it up.
     This morning after dropping my two youngest off at playschool, I stopped by the local supermarket.  As I was getting groceries from my list, I became very tired and sore.  You see, two weeks ago I had surgery and I’m supposed to be taking it easy.  I’m not to lift anything over 10 pounds and I’m to rest.
     Undoubtedly by the time I made it to the checkout register, my pain level was apparent to the cashier.  She seemed very concerned about me and the way I looked.  She asked if I’d like some help getting my groceries to the car and I told her that would be a good idea. 
     The cashier called for someone to help me to the car and load my groceries into my car.  No one was available.  Then a manager came over and said she was the only one available to help me.  She seemed much inconvenienced to have to help me – she looked at my outward appearance only.  She had no idea what I was feeling on the inside.  She made a few remarks about being short-staffed and not enough people to do “extra”.  Complete with eye-rolling and loud sighs.  I really wanted to tell the manager right then to just forget it… that I would get my own groceries loaded.  But I was feeling too bad to do that.  I needed her help, even if it meant inconveniencing her.
     The cashier finished my transaction and then said she would be praying for me and for a speedy recovery.  The manager heard her and her demeanor changed immediately.  She realized something was wrong with me.  She became softer and kinder to me.  Then she had a pleasant conversation with me the whole way to the car.  She handled my groceries carefully and wished me well.  The whole experience ended up being lovely. 
     Both ladies gave me a good word on a day I desperately needed it.  They also relieved the anxiety that had built up because of my pain.  Their sincerity to my situation made a positive impact on me; a stranger.
     As I read news articles and publications, I see where today’s kids and teens have more stress and anxiety than ever before.  All of the reasons the experts give of “why” make perfect sense to me.  I see it in my own children.  The weight they carry is visible.  My desire is to help alleviate some of these pressures, not add to them.
     As my family reminds me, “I”, “Ginger”, “Mom” set the tone in the house every day.  They have told me if I’m in a bad mood, it puts them in a bad mood.  If I’m yelling, then they yell.  If I feel rushed, they feel rushed.  And it’s true!  My attitude sets our day.  I’ve seen it too many times to disagree.
     What is my role given this information?  To give a good word.  Simple, yet effective.  Remember?  A good word cheers a person’s heart.  Not a bunch of run-on sentences of me barking orders.  Not me ignoring everyone until I’ve had my coffee.  Not being short and impatient with my words.  But a good word!  Good morning!  You look nice today!  This is the day the Lord has made!  Thank you for helping your sister!  Thank you for packing your lunch!  I’m proud of you!  Thank you for being loyal!  All of these are good words…. Simple and effective.
     Another good word we practice daily is reading the bible in the car on the way to school.  My oldest son reads the verse of the day and then we discuss what it means to each of us.  More good words.
     Proverbs 18:21  The tongue has the power of life and death.  We can build others up and relieve anxiety and stress.  Or we can tear people down and feed their stress and anxiety.
     I’m working on this daily.  My family, bless them, are calling me out on it when I mess up.  I’ve asked them to.  We are working together to show honor, speak kinder and love unconditionally.  Join us on our journey of speaking a good word.

     Middle school for me was three crazy years of trying so hard to fit in and never being able to.  In sixth grade my hair was really long and I decided to have the top permed and leave the back long and straight.  (See picture)  Therefore I was called “Poodle Head”.  Also that year I heard a lot of kids talking about what they were going to dress up as for Halloween and I mistakenly thought they meant “wear to school” on Halloween.  I knew my parents didn’t have money for a costume so I made my own.  The year was 1986 so I decided to dress as a “Punk Rocker”.  I used a black trash bag to cut out a punk rocker dress, put a belt around it, found some gloves that I cut the fingers out and also wore some combat boots.  I was so proud of my handmade outfit that I never once thought that maybe no one else would dress up and wear their costumes to school.  But when I arrived, I quickly realized I was the only middle schooler who did.  Unfortunately I did not have a backup plan and had to wear it all day.  The teasing was merciless. 
     Just before seventh grade we moved and I was the new kid.  I only knew one person at my school and that’s because we had met at my new church.   I was trying again to fit in and find my place.  I wanted so badly to be liked and popular.  I tried out for cheer-leading and didn’t make the team.  I tried out for basketball and didn’t make the team.  I was in band and the last chair flautist.  I would challenge people so I could move up in chairs, but never once did I beat them in the challenge.  I wore Converse basketball shoes while all the other girls wore spotless, white Keds.  No matter how hard I tried, fitting in just was not going to happen. 
     My mind was in a bad place and the only thoughts I had about myself were negative.  I rode the bus and a girl one grade older than me saw me as an easy target.  She reinforced the negative thoughts I had about myself.  She started bullying me in seventh grade and it continued all the way through tenth grade.  She picked on my size, my clothes, my shoes, my hair (which she never saw when it was poodle hair, thankfully).  She would tell me every day that she was going to beat me up.  No matter where I sat on the bus, she would move behind me and start smacking me in the back of the head.  She stole from me and started nasty rumors about me.  I started to believe that I was worthless, a mistake, never going to amount to much, couldn’t do anything right and had no talents.  Not making any of the teams I tried out for also reiterated those things in my mind. 
     I stopped caring, I lost interest and I figured in school I’d just do enough to get by.  It didn’t matter anyway… I was a loser and everyone knew it.  I wanted so badly to be noticed… for something spectacular… not for all the awkward things people saw in me and I saw in myself.
     I constantly thought “if just one good thing would happen in my life then I’d be liked, accepted, popular, invited to parties, and a person people would want to be around.  I kept seeking for that one good thing I could be noticed for.  That one cool thing that people would like me for.  If I could find it, then my bully would have to stop hurting me and my classmates would want me in their lives.  They would include me.
     So I made a plan.  I knew how to get people to think I was cool.  This would do it for sure!  People on the bus would see, they would tell others, then the whole school would be talking about it and I’d be popular!  Brilliant strategy, Ginger.  Brilliant!  I was going to execute the plan the next day.
     The next morning I stole a cigarette and matches from my brother’s room.  I walked up to the bus stop.  No one else in my school lived near me, so I was always the only person at my stop.  I was also the last person to get on the bus every morning and the last to get off every afternoon.  The plan was to be smoking a cigarette when the bus pulled up.  I would make a big deal about putting it out before getting on the bus to ensure people were watching and seeing me smoke.  But here’s what I didn’t plan on:

1.  The first match head getting stuck and breaking off under my fingernail just as it lit.
2. Burning my finger and fingernail badly.
3. Being afraid to then try and light anymore matches.
4. Finally talking myself into lighting another match and not knowing how to light the cigarette.
5. Getting the cigarette lit by trial and error only to completely smoke it and choke on it way too soon before the bus got there.
6. Trying to relight the butt just as the bus came into view so they could see me putting the cigarette out.
7. Not being able to light the butt.
8. Being frustrated with the whole ordeal because none of it happened to plan.

     Epic fail!  I was a failure at being cool.  Maybe if I took alcohol to school, people would like me.  Next plan: fill a small bottle up with water and peppermint oil and tell people it was liquor.  So the next day I took my plan 2 to school and gave to a boy named Joe P.  He took it to the bathroom and drank it.  When he walked back in the class, he was smiling, so I knew it worked and now people would think I was cool and start placing orders!  But here’s what I didn’t plan on:

1. Joe having a sophisticated palate and knowing the difference between alcohol and peppermint water.
2. Joe declaring to the whole class not to trust me.
3. Joe declaring to the whole class I was trying to poison people.
4. Joe declaring to the teacher that I was drinking in the bathroom and giving her the bottle.
5. My teacher calling me up in front of the whole class asking me about drinking in the bathroom and exactly what I had brought to school in that bottle.

     Epic fail!  Again!  For the love of everything cuddly and cute, Ginger, please stop trying to impress people.  Just be yourself!  By being yourself, you’ll attract the right kind of people.  Don’t be fake and attract the wrong kind of people.  Be around the people who appreciate the exact person God made you to be.
     I’d love to tell you that that was exactly what I told myself and the nonsense stopped at that moment.  But unfortunately I’m a slow learner…. I didn’t take that advice until I was 35 years old.  Three of my closest friends walked out on me when I chose not to follow the path they were taking.  For the first time in my life I finally saw God’s truth in my life when it came to being accepted. 
     Romans 12:2  Do not be conformed to this age, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may discern what is the good, pleasing and perfect will of God.
     When these friends wanted me to follow their path of sin, I no longer longed for popularity or fitting in.  I wanted what God wanted for me.  He had renewed my mind so that I could see all the good He had for me.  All the pleasing things He had planned for me.  All the perfection in which He would bring about this goodness and plans.  For me… Ginger… bleacher diving… fingernail burning… Poodle head… trash bag wearing… fake alcohol maker… overweight… college dropout… stubborn… impatient… unloved… unliked… no one showed up at my party… ME.  God wanted me.  Just as I am.  Me.  The person he made.  Me.  His wonderfully made creation.  Me.  My selfishness, my awkwardness, my flaws.  Me.  God loves me.  I don’t deserve it.  I don’t measure up.  I mess up daily.  But He still wants me just as I am.  Only He can transform my mind, my heart, my actions, my life to be who and what He has made me to be.  I am His.  His perfect creation.
     You are His perfect creation too.  It’s easy to doubt that.  It’s easy to fall into Satan’s traps of thinking we don’t measure up to much.  I believed it for 35 years and constantly doubted my worth.  Don’t make that mistake, my friend.  You are more valuable than any precious stone on this earth.  Let God renew your mind and tell Satan and his lies to flee.  If I can help you pray for that, just reach out to me.  You are wanted.  You are loved.  You are desired.  You are valuable.

     A few years back, we went to the Transportation Museum in Spencer, NC to see Thomas the Train.  While there we found a full fledged train track that went nowhere, with a rail-car sitting at one end.  The boys knew in their minds, since the track was short and did not go beyond where they could see and since the rail-car was stationary with no engine, it was safe to lie across the tracks and take a picture.  So they did… but what they were not anticipating, while they were lying there, was another train (about 75 yards away) blowing its whistle to signal that it was taking off.  Their brains quickly shifted into ‘flight or fight’ mode and both boys shot straight up off the tracks and ran to me as fast as they could with fear in their eyes.  By the time they reached me, I was laughing and assuring them with outstretched arms they were safe and it was Thomas, on the other side of the parking lot, that was about to take off.  They calmed down and could then laugh with me.  It didn’t make their fear any less real…. no one wants to be stuck on a train track with a train headed for them… but it did ease their minds to know there was no real danger… that time.
     I have prayed Philippians 1:9-11 over all four of my children many times.  It says: “And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God.”  My husband and I have put in many, many hours teaching them about making WISE decisions.  We want them to have knowledge, insight and discernment… we also want them to have the best, to be pure and blameless and filled with integrity.  But we also know for them to have these things we have to be intentional about two very specific things.

1. They have to see us making wise decisions
2. They have to see us in an intimate relationship with Jesus Christ; who through Him all of these are possible.

      As their parents, we can’t be off the rails making reckless and careless decisions.  We can’t fly by the seat of our pants hoping for the best.  We can’t be spendthrifts with what God has given us.  We can’t be inconsiderate of others.  We can’t be insensitive of those in need.  We can’t put ourselves or others in danger.  We have to be deliberate with our actions and words; otherwise we’re teaching them they don’t have to be.
     Jonathan and I have tried (and failed) to do these things on our own… but over time we learned our relationship with Jesus is the only way to be fruitful in all these areas.  Unfortunately we both have been on that track with a train barreling towards us that could easily end in disaster.  Thankfully we realized it before it was too late and jumped up and ran into the loving arms of our Savior who assured us He had us.  Not only did He have us safe in His arms, but He has gently taught us discernment of how to live our best lives with and through Him.
     On days that I’m struggling, scared and on the dangerous tracks with disaster heading for me, I pray my children watch me run as fast as I can into the arms of God and His word.  That’s where my love and wisdom will grow and flourish as I continue on the path set before me.
     Cultivate your relationship with Jesus today and everyday… discern what is best, grow in love and knowledge, be pure and blameless and filled with integrity.  That’s your sweet spot.  That’s where you will live your best life.

     I decided a long time ago I wanted to carry Jesus with me everywhere I went.  At age 6, I gave Jesus my heart and invited Him to live in and through me.  I didn’t know back then what all that meant, I just knew I wanted it.  But as I’ve grown and cultivated my relationship with Jesus, I understand a little more about what that means.  Paul in 2 Corinthians 4:7 says it best.  “We have this treasure from God, but we are like clay jars that hold the treasure.  This shows that the great power is from God, not from us.”  This is saying we carry the gospel treasure, Jesus, where ever we go.  The important thing is not the container, but the contents.  Our containers are just cracked pots, but the contents of our damaged pots make all the difference.
     My sophomore year of high school, I walked into the last gym class I would have that semester before the Christmas break.  All the bleachers were pushed against the wall, but our gym teacher told us to climb up to the top and sit down.  A few intermittent bleachers on the way up were pulled out a couple of inches to allow us to get to the top.  He said that he was going to call us down one at a time and give us an exercise that we had to do in front of the whole class.  How well we performed that exercise would be our mid-term grade.  I was already very nervous about this because at 15 years of age, I never felt like I measured up to much in the athletic department.  I was overweight and not very agile at all.  I was also notorious for not tying my shoes.  The coach called my name to come down for my exercise performance and grade.  I stood up, at the top of the bleachers, and when I did, unbeknownst to me, I was standing on the shoestring of the foot that was trying to take a step down.  Needless to say, I tripped and fell 6 feet, face first, onto the hard, wooden gym floor in front of 3 high school gym classes.
     2 Corinthians 5:17 tell us “Anyone who belongs to Christ is a new person.  The past is forgotten and everything is new.”  As a 15 year old girl, how was I going to be able to face my classmates without replaying this scene in my head and focusing on the new crack I just sustained in my clay jar?  I couldn’t really figure out back then that I needed to focus on what’s inside that jar; the contents, the power, the treasure that was within me.  I desperately needed a reminder in that moment, as I lay breathless on the cold floor.  I needed someone to tell me I could rebound because of the power that was inside me.  To remind me I had Jesus in my heart and therefore was a new person. My past had been forgotten.  But I was too embarrassed to move.
     “We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed.  We are perplexed, but not driven to despair.  We are hunted down, but never abandoned by God.  We get knocked down, but we are not destroyed.” 2 Corinthians 4:8-9.  I did not want to get up off the floor.  I just wanted to lay there and somehow sink into that floor and disappear forever.  But when the coach saw that I was breathing again, he yelled out very loudly for the whole gym to hear “Great job Ginger!  That was the most perfect swan dive I’ve ever seen!  You get an A plus!”  In that moment, as the coach smiled down at me, I decided I could persevere because the contents within me would be my power and strength to help me rebound, get up and face my peers. 
Listen to this resume of Paul’s.
“I have worked harder, been put in prison more often, been whipped times without number and faced death again and again.  Five different times the Jewish leaders gave me thirty-nine lashes.  Three times I was beaten with rods.  Once I was stoned.  Three times I was shipwrecked.  Once I spent a whole night and a day adrift at sea.  I have traveled on many long journeys.  I have faced danger from rivers and from robbers.  I have faced danger from my own people, the Jews, as well as from the Gentiles.  I have faced danger in the cities, in the deserts, and on the seas.  And I have faced danger from men who claim to be believers but are not.  I have worked hard and long, enduring many sleepless nights.  I have been hungry and thirsty and have often gone without food.  I have shivered in the cold, without enough clothing to keep me warm.  Then, besides all this, I have the daily burden of my concern for all the churches.” 2 Corinthians 11:23-28.
     Tell me, why didn’t Paul just give up and go back home and start making tents again?  Paul knew he could rebound because of the power that was inside him.  He knew what he was doing by going on these missionary journeys’ and sharing the gospel of Christ, was bigger than he was.  What he was doing was life changing and lifesaving, so he persevered and tapped into the power of Christ.
     I really want you to think about how you’re going to rebound when you get discouraged.  Discouragement will happen.  How are you going to handle it?  Will you try on your own or will you tap into the power that is within your cracked pot?  For me, my flawed pot is just temporary, so I’m going to tap into the power of Christ that lives within me.  
     My coach reached down, grabbed my hand and helped me to my feet.  The whole gym applauded.  And I received an A plus in gym for the first time ever.
     Jesus, please remind my friends of your words and promises when they are feeling pressed on every side; when they are perplexed; when they get knocked down.  Show them how to rebound by tapping into Your power.
(*Note:  I remember my Pastor Bob preaching on this years ago.  Thank you for being a vessel for Christ.)

   There are many memories of time spent with my dad, but one that stands out to me is the day he took me to Emerald Pointe water park in Greensboro when I was 16 or 17 years old.  It was Labor Day weekend and the last weekend Emerald Pointe would be open until the next summer.  Dad and I were hanging out in the wave pool waiting on the next big wave to come through.  When the wave hit, we were tossed about… in and out of water like a rag doll.  My dad popped up and said “Ginger, my wedding band is gone!”  We knew that finding his ring in the very crowded wave pool would be about near impossible.  Before we could begin looking for it, a girl rose up out of the water and shouted “Did anyone lose their wedding band?”  And just like that, what was lost was found.
   A couple years after that, I went to the beach for spring break my senior year of college.  Two months earlier I had ordered and financed my college class ring.  I couldn’t afford to pay for it upfront, so I had financed it for 6 months and wore it on this trip to the beach.  We had spent the day riding jet skis and I had just gotten off the Jet Ski in Merrill’s Inlet.  I pulled my ring off to rinse the sand out from under it.  Somehow in just a split second, I had dropped my class ring and it was gone.  The ring I still had to pay on for four more months just vanished.  We searched the water, but was never able to find my ring.  And just like that, what was lost this time, remained lost.
   Two stories, two related people, two rings, and two different outcomes.  What do you want us to learn from this God?  Open our hearts and minds to receive the exact thing you want us to learn and understand.  My blogging buddies are here today for just that!
   There’s another story about being lost that we find in the bible.  Jesus’ parents thought they had lost him one time.  Every year Jesus’ family would travel to Jerusalem for the Passover festival.  When Jesus was 12 years old, they went to the festival as usual and on the way back home, they realized Jesus was not with them.  They frantically looked for him among their family and friends that were traveling with them, but when they couldn’t find him, they returned to Jerusalem to see if he was still there.  Sure enough, three days later, they discovered him in the temple.  He was sitting with the religious teachers listening to them and asking them questions.  Everyone in the temple was amazed by Jesus’ understanding.  Mary, his mother, didn’t know what to think so she asked him why he did this to them.  Didn’t he know they were worried?  Jesus simply told her “Why did you need to search for me?  Didn’t you know that I must be about my Father’s business?”  The bible says Mary didn’t understand what Jesus meant, but that she stored all these things in her heart.
   Twenty-one years later, Mary thought she had lost Jesus again.  This time she was certain of it because she was there when the Roman soldiers hung him on the cross and then when they pierced his side.  She watched in agony as her son was brutally beaten and murdered.  She was there when Jesus called out in a loud voice “Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?”  “My God, My God, why have You abandoned me?”  She was there when Jesus was laid in the tomb.  More things to ponder in her heart.  Gone.  Lost.  No more. 
   But we know the rest of the story.  We know what happened three days later.  We know Jesus was raised from the dead and appeared again to his disciples and his family.  He wasn’t gone.  He wasn’t lost.  He was fulfilling scripture. 
   Luke 24:25-27 Jesus starts walking to the village of Emmaus with two of his followers that don’t realize it’s Jesus and says “You foolish people!  You find it so hard to believe all that the prophets wrote in the scriptures.  Wasn’t it clearly predicted that the Messiah would have to suffer all these things before entering his glory?”  Then Jesus took them through the writings of Moses and all the prophets, explaining from all the scriptures the things concerning himself.
   Jesus was not lost in either of these two scenarios.  He was right where he was supposed to be.  The first time being about his heavenly Father’s business learning in the temple.  The second time being about his heavenly Father’s business by taking on the weight of all the sins of the world, unwilling that any of us should perish in our sins.  Jesus became the ultimate sacrifice, covering us with the blood of reconciliation forever.  He did this so that none of us would ever experience being lost and separated from God.  Jesus paid the price for our sins.  He is our good shepherd.  We are his sheep.  He will go to any length to find even one lost sheep.  I lost my ring and still had to keep making monthly payments on it even though it was gone forever.  Jesus made that one crucial payment in full, so we could experience the richness of God’s glory and never have to make another payment on our own.  He sacrificed so that if we just confess Jesus as our Lord and Savior and invite him in our hearts, we are saved forever.  Never to be lost again. 
   If you’ve ever lost something precious to you; a sentimental item, a person, a commodity, a relationship; then you know the pain this loss causes.  You feel like you’re being punished, you’re miserable; you so desperately want this thing back.  You’d go to any length to be with it again; never separated from it again; you just want another chance.  Jesus knows this feeling too.  He was more than willing to go through misery, punishment, rejection and death to make sure we never had to be separated from Him.  He did what He was put here to do; to find the lost.  I’m so thankful He made the ultimate sacrifice to find me.  Now will you let Him find you?

   October of 2002, I lost my great paying job.  I was the only one working, so this was a blow to our lives.  During that time I decided to start researching adoption.  I so desperately wanted to be a mom.  It consumed my every thought, and since I didn’t work, I had plenty of time to let it do so.  I joined an online chat group that focused on domestic and open adoptions.  Somehow during that I developed a friendship with a woman about 10 years older than me whose 15 year old daughter was pregnant.  She had talked her daughter into putting the baby up for adoption so she could try and have a normal high school experience and finish her education.  The woman’s name was Dora and her daughter’s name was Bri.  Dora started calling me and reaching out to me on a daily basis.  Then she had Bri call me to meet me over the phone.  Finally they asked if Jonathan and I would adopt Bri’s baby.  I didn’t have to think about it much, I knew I wanted to.  Jonathan on the other hand was apprehensive because neither of us was working at the time.  How in the world were we going to afford a baby when we were struggling ourselves?  We shared our financial concerns with Dora, but she wasn’t worried about it at all.  They were not looking for any extra money, just wanted us to cover any adoption expenses.  So we agreed.  This was the summer of 2003 and by the middle of September; we were going to be parents.
   We knew we had to get on the ball of finding jobs and selling our house.  Our house was already on the market, but we had had zero interest.  I started applying for jobs in Burlington, NC in hopes of us moving back to our hometown.  We had been in Shelby, NC for 6 years at this point and we were ready to be near family again.  So we got busy with the job search and the legalities of adoption.  Bri was working with an adoption agency in her state of Colorado.  So they put us in contact with her case worker.  That’s when we found out how expensive an out of state adoption was going to be for us.  It was going to be more than we could handle, especially without jobs.
   Dora did her own research and found out that if we took over custody of Bri and she came to live with us, that would make it a local adoption and we could bypass a lot of the legal mumbo jumbo.  Bri was up for it too.  She agreed to move halfway across the US to live out her remainder 2 months of her pregnancy with us.  We would assume legal responsibility of her and then she was going to willingly give up her baby for adoption to us when she was born.  It seemed like a flawless plan.  It seemed like it was orchestrated beautifully…. Or was it?  I had forgotten to consult God throughout this whole process and I was forcing the pieces into place.  I desired this so much, that I became impervious to any ramifications or things that could go wrong.  Then something went wrong.  Bri went to a wellness baby checkup and they let her hear the baby’s heartbeat.  Later that afternoon I got a very long email from Dora explaining that Bri heard the heartbeat and no longer wished to adopt.  I was devastated.  The hurt and the pain ran so deep.  All I could do was go into the baby’s room we had started setting up and cry under the baby blankets, bibs and clothes.  My heart was wounded and I never thought it would heal.  I literally cried out to God.  He heard me, but He had already been working.  He showed me the most incredible thing that was so unimaginable to me.  He showed me His perfect plan for my life.  Not my whole life, but what was supposed to happen for us right then, in His timing.  A better plan than we ever had the courage to dream.
   As I’m lying across the bed crying the phone rings.  Jonathan answers it.  I hear him say “Yes, she’s here.  Please hold a minute.”  He calls me into the room.  I couldn’t figure out why in the world he would put me on the phone with someone knowing the pain I was in.  But I answered it anyway.  “Hello?” I said.  “Ginger, this is Lisa with Alamance County Human Resources Department.  I’m calling to offer you the position of IT Specialist with our MIS Department.  Do you accept?”  Flabbergasted, stunned and overjoyed were the feelings I immediately felt and I said “Yes!”  She asked me if I could start in exactly one week on August 1st.  She knew that was a Friday, but that was the only way I could get my first full months’ paycheck.  So I agreed to start then.  I hang up the phone and tell Jonathan the great news.  We had been trying to move back to Burlington for over 2 years at this point and it was finally going to happen.  But God did not stop there.  Remember, He heard me crying out to Him just moments earlier.  So as I’m finishing up giving my husband all the details about my new job, the phone rings again.
   “Hello?” I say.  “Hi.  We just rode by your house and saw the for sale by owner sign.  We were wondering if we could come take a look at your home later today?” the voice on the other end asks.  “Of course you can!” I respond.  We work out the house visit details and they show up a little later.  We show them around our home, explain we’re moving because we wanted to get back to our hometown and that I was getting ready to start a new job next week.  They gave us very positive feedback and said they’d call us the next day.  The next morning the couple called back and said they had already been pre-approved for a loan and they could give us what we were asking.  Then she said “I know this is a little soon, and I know it’s Saturday, but could y’all possibly be out by Tuesday?   We need this address for our kids to get into this school district.”  We were pleasantly shocked!  Who could orchestrate this?  Only God!  Only God knew what we were going to need when we needed it.  God kept us in Shelby for a reason and that reason was we were going to need a diversion to pull us out of our misery for our failed adoption attempt.  So to recap, they visited our house on Friday, bought it on Saturday and asked us to be out by Tuesday.  So we were!  Our parents came and helped us move.  We drove our U-Haul to Burlington on Tuesday, unpacked it into a storage unit on Wednesday, we took a breather day on Thursday and I started my new job on Friday.  And since the family who bought our house was pre-approved, there was no long drawn out process for us to go through.  We just had to sign a few papers then sit back and wait for the check to come.  And it came within a few days.  I never had time, throughout all this, to miss our "almost" adopted baby. 
   God created such a dynamic diversion to fill the place of what we had lost.  Not to mention, 2 years later, I became pregnant and we had our own baby.  Then the following year I became pregnant again and we had another.  I’ve since heard from Dora and have seen pictures of her granddaughter and she looks so happy and healthy.  Her mom and dad got married and have been doing an excellent job of raising her.  She is right where she needs to be.  Plus, 15 years later, we still got our adoption story when we adopted 2 baby girls.  We are now a family of 6!
  Paul wrote in 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 "Each time God said “My grace is all you need.  My power works best in weakness.” That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses and in the insults, hardships, persecutions and troubles that I suffer for Christ.  For when I am weak, then I am strong."
   God is going to work through my weaknesses and brokenness and use it for good.  God says to me “I know you are going through this thing right now, but you have no idea what I can do with it.”  So I challenge you when you are faced with some weakness or brokenness, don’t ask God to change your circumstances but rather ask Him to use your circumstance to shape your heart.